When one thinks of couple’s therapy, one may imagine a broken marriage being kept together by tape and glue, and that by going to therapy, the couple is admitting their relationship has failed. However, this is usually not the case. There are plenty of great relationships that can fall apart due to miscommunication. Sometimes, there are the little things we ignore, bottle up, and then unleash on our partner. By going to therapy, you can sort out all your problems and help begin the relationship anew.
When should you seek couples therapy? There is no right answer, but there are signs you can look for, including:
Nothing But Negativity
Negativity will happen in any relationship. We all have our off days, or times when we say something we shouldn’t have. However, if most of your relationship is negative, there’s a problem. Negative communication can be your tone, involves overly criticizing someone, and ignores the positive traits one may have. There may be an underlying reason for this negativity, and couple’s therapy can help to find it.
Miscommunication or Lack of Communication
Communication is always key, and if you or your partner aren’t communicating properly, then you can’t open the door to a good relationship. There are a few reasons why you may not be communicating well with your partner. Perhaps they’re working all the time, or you don’t know how to express what’s on your mind. Sometimes, not expressing your emotions is like shaking a soda bottle and then opening the cap. It’s going to explode.
When expressing yourself, be nice and don’t use accusatory language. A therapist can teach you methods to communicate better.
Keeping Secrets
Everyone has their own secrets, but when you’re married, being secretive can be a sign of trouble. Sometimes, there may not even be malicious intent behind the secrets. For example, someone may have a guilty pleasure they enjoy, such as music. If they are listening to their music on their phone, and then be defensive when the partner asks what’s going on, the partner may think that there is something more nefarious happening.
Financial Dishonesty
One of the big reasons for relationships ending is because of finances. Financial dishonesty is especially a huge factor. This is when you spend money and don’t tell your spouse about it. If you had a conversation with your spouse beforehand, things may have been better, but because you were dishonest, you and your spouse end up fighting, and that’s never good. Finances are fickle. We want to save money for the future, but sometimes, we want retail therapy.
Always be honest about your finances. A therapist can help you to reach a middle ground when it comes to spending.
Thinking Your Partner Will Change
Sometimes, your partner changes, and you believe that if you wait it out, they may go back to their old selves. However, this is usually not what happens. Unless they are told how they’ve changed, they may never do so. And if you’re aggressive about it, then it may not end well. A therapist can be the mediator who helps you communicate your feelings properly.
While some relationships were not meant to be, there are others that just need some help. If you feel like you can save your relationship, try seeking couples therapy. You can do this by going to a counselor near you, or using online counseling services such as Regain to help you with any relationship troubles you may have.
By seeking help early, you can keep your marriage going strong for as long as possible.